I have four possible subway routes to work. The past two days, I have started at the 46th street station in queens, took the g train to queens plaza, transferred to the f and rode that to lexington and 51st, and walked the six blocks to the helmsley building. Both days my train arrived at lex at the same time a queensbound train arrived, and two rush hour trainloads of people then tried to ride up two long skinny escalators toward lexington ave and the 4 5 6 trains. There is also a staircase that runs alongside the two escalators, and at the time, no one was coming down the stairs.

Well, of course a bunch of people start walking up the stairs only to be met by a trainload of people heading down at about the three-quarter mark. Ugliness ensued. Neither direction wanted to form a single line. Shouting and curse words were heard as the escalator riders just glided by.

Start doing product placements in your real life. Randomly turn to people and start pontificating about the merits of plant food. Name names. Argue with people from an omniscient point of view. Laugh when they make logic errors. Ignore the feeelings of others if it makes it easier for you to achieve your goals.

I went to a club with chris to see a band I had never heard before. I squeezed through the crowd and must have pissed off the guy I ended up standing in front of. When the song was over he was clapping real loud just millimeters behind my head purposely, and then made a big labor about pushing past me to go stand in a more open spot. His overwrought pantomime was very easy to forgive, my workplace employs a robust assortment of dorks with poor communication skills, (myself included) and I deal with this sort of thing every day. But then I started thinking about how fun it would be to start fucking with this guy. He was, after all, alot shorter than me. My best scenario involved me walking right up to him, looking him in the eye and clapping loudly in his face, and then improvise from there. Maybe follow and taunt him all the way home.